i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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