We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
