Dual....:-)
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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