3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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