my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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