I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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