Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize