dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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