4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize