whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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