I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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