She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize