i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
