I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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