At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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