we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
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How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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