What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
