Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
