i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
