got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
