sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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