Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
