its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
