i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
