sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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