im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
