That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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