I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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