Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
