During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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