I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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