i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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