You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Blood and glitter go together right?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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