How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
