No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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