Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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