If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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