Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
