what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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