Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
