I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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