Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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