I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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