She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
