Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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