You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Randomize
