i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
