we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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