pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
