i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
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He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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