y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Randomize
