what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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