there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
