Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
